Got all in or just don’t go at all.
Memories
I think I’ve been using tumblr for about 5 months now and it’s amazing becuz I never really used it until I started talking to you. Now almost every post I make is for you, well more like about you. Almost has been a month and yes I still miss you, but I don’t Deserve someone like you. I think we both know that. I hope you found someone better and more to your liking not like what I did. Well someone 10x better than me, you deserve it even though it may hurt to know or find out, you deserve happiness not despair, like what I caused you.
Prom in 2 days (: it’s gonna be fun.I’m gonna go all out. Bad ass bitch just bouncin on my dick. Drink before I go. OMG!! Haha, I wonder what the girl of my dreams is doing.
</3 Makes sense right
Well, its about 2 weeks till your birthday, yeah I still remember your birthday. At least I can remember the special day you were born and when a beautiful girl was introduced into this world. She has grown up to becoming a wonderful woman and a wonderful person both inside and out. Is this being a bit of a creeper maybe it is, maybe its me trying to win you back and just writing my heart out and making you feel “Special”. You still make me feel special you still give me the gitters even though we arent talking. November 3 2011, I think you should remember this date, well if you are too lazy to go on your facebook and go back all the way to last year. Its the first time I talked to you and it started with a random ass question that I asked. Me the question boy, “Hey your that girl in my Econ class?” What an obvious question, you were sitting so freakin close to me and I still asked that question. DUMBASS I SWEAR. Yeah and than it turned out to be a 217 comment conversation. I felt like myself and it was really interesting and cool that I was talking to you, now If I had the balls to do it in person too wow, amazing how things could be. SHY BOY :( Well as the month passed bye, we would talk through message on facebook. I swear social networking took over my life, -_- sucks. Than we had the “time” where I did talk to you. Yeah :( sad times and it sucks because man I just gave up because of the reason on why you liked someone else and how it just made me jump to conclusion that I couldnt do it and its pointless to continue :( Imagine if I didnt do it and actually fought harder. Sigh :( Than my second coming Febuary 13 2:38 p.m what a random time I swear -_- I decided to go back to the person I wanted to start over with. Yes It felt sooo good to talk to you again, and the reason why I started over was because I know that I could of gotten you but I just gave up and I wanted to go back and remend our friendship, little did I know that we blossomed into such a developing relationship and how we were so happy with each other. I would go to sleep at 3:30 in the morning just talking to you on the phone and just hearing your voice made me soo happy and your words made me sooo happy :’ ) Than months past by and I wont go into detail because I wanna get rid of those dreadful months, Im trying my hardest, and yes I can get rid of the past, but you will always be a part of it. I dont know if that makes sense, but yeah maybe you will understand. I just wanna tell you, that I miss you, and I really do feel lonely without your presence, its really hard and really miss it. I can still live, dont question that, but In my opinion if I had you back I would feel soo much better and soo much at peace and also, I would feel happy. Ive been listening to one song called Colors everywhere it pretty much explains how you can be there for me and how much it really means, if you came back into my life. One of the lines of the song is “You put the rainbow in my eyes” yes you do put the rainbow in my eyes. Just know, that I love you soo much, yes Love, that word again always seems to fuck me over and over again because it is soo overused. Well when I think of you and the only thing that can make me happy is you, I guess love is the only word that I can use. :’ ) I hope you had a great day
It’s love that takes away pain. It’s grievance that takes away the shadows of a past that’s is irregetable. It’s that person that you think of everyday that takes your heart and makes it feel so special. It’s those precious moments that you have when you talk to each other. It’s that idea and feeling in your heart that takes all the problems and destroys them. Well I’ve truly understood what it took, but i didn’t execute. It’s sad thinking of what we use to have, how much joy and happiness that I had, well what we had. It’s sucks becuz you’re going to be going off to a place where things will change your mind and the surrondings of what you are around. I know it’s too early to be talking like this, but I just want things with me and you to be where they were becuz all I cam think about is you. Fuck the cheesiness I have and look past it and feel my heart and how it’s feeling. The feeling of your other half being there, and all of a sudden your other half taken away from you because of your choices, well in this case my choices and words that hurt you. I know that there are things that made me hurt you, I know. I’ve said sorry I’ve apoliogized and it hurts still thinking about them. I just wanna tell you, even though we may not talk that i love you, i really do. It’s irresistable to change this and yes when i think about the pain it hurts but this pain is a pain that reminds me that I’m doing it for you. I don’t know if you still read all my blogs, it’s your choice. I don’t know if you found another person that can make you happy just as much as i did, just as much as how I made you happy when you were soo In love with me. I still have everything about you, i still like you sooo fuckin much, I can never let it go. I know you told me to not dwell about the past and to let the past go, and also that things don’t always go my way, it’s life. I know things don’t go my way, but this is the first time in my life where I can say that something went my way. I found a girl that I love still, even though I may not think she doesnt love me, I found a girl that made me feel soo happy and how she was the first girl and i know in my heart is the only girl that can ever make me happy. I just wanna let you know, even though we aren’t talking your heart is in mine, the name i always think of still makes me happy even though I really don’t know what you may think. I still have the 2 notes you gave me, and i cherish them because they are symbols of you, and they give me Goodluck when I look at them, and they make me happy and always put a smile on my face, even if the person that wrote it isn’t talking to me. Take a positive and make even better. I miss you so much, I’ll pray that you read this an understand that I love you still, i really do ^_^ :’ )
I wonder what she might be thinking, what might she be doing, what might be concerning her. It haunts me everyday thinking about it. Its easy for her to let things go, I cant let her go. Shes so important to me, and its hard to live life everyday and think “What if” shes still in my heart and always will. No way in hell will I let her go
